5 Things to Do When a Member of the Team of 8, is Throwing the Cadence of Collaboration off
1. We don’t do violence, so let’s try silence. In other words, “Choose your Battles.” Not every battle is worth your time, energy, or attention. Save that energy for things that matter most. What matters most? Student outcomes. Everything else, literally, is a distraction.
2. They KNOW they get under your skin. You KNOW they can get under your skin and push your buttons. Strategy two is to shift your focus from each other and recalibrate on your mission and purpose. While personalities and intent may be as diverse as the colors and shapes in a kaleidoscope, what you have in common with your teammate is delivering positive outcomes that improve the community, family, employability, real estate value, and commerce. We all want strong, magnetic communities that improve the life conditions of students and future leaders. Personality differences are distractions. They take your focus off of what matters most—student outcomes. Don’t let personality lead you astray.
3. If you think you can intellectually reason with someone or be overly kind to them to get them to change their mind, continue beating your head on a brick wall until the wall falls down. It’s not going to happen. You have no control over someone else’s belief set; only they do. They have to decide to change; you can’t decide for them. A person has to decide to be open to new understandings and concede a one-dimensional perspective to embrace multi-dimensional perspectives. They have to want it; you can’t want it for them. There is an old saying that says, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink!” You cannot make anyone drink, but you can salt their oats and create a thirst. Identify the salt for your team dynamics and create the thirst for understanding. Control of anyone other than yourself is a distraction. Let it go.
4. Data. It doesn’t matter how hard a person’s stance is or how strongly they feel about an issue; it’s not stronger than real data. Let data do the talking for you. If student outcomes are the focus, then nothing speaks louder than your data. Again, resist the big distractor of passionate, heartfelt opinions and keep your focus on your data. It is not that opinions don’t matter and aren’t influential; it's that opinions don't change facts. Facts, however, can change opinions. Real talk.
5. I know. I know you think they’re the mean, grumpy Grinch, but alas, we are all human and take all our human frailties everywhere we go. You are dealing with two perspectives of human frailty. The window aspect of what you see when you look at others, and the mirror aspect of what you see when you look at yourself. Regardless of which perspective you are viewing, there is imperfection in both. Go back to point three – you can’t fix or control anyone else, but if you are willing and courageous enough, you can make yourself a better you. To establish your equilibrium between peace and stress, allow yourself to experience the freedoms attached to the window and mirror perspective of forgiveness, pack up any of your old unfinished business – release it, and press forward in wisdom and strategy. This will change everything – well beyond board relations. You’ll start to see every aspect of your humanity begin to self-actualize or move in a positive direction. In other words, no matter how hard anyone tries, they don’t have enough strength to push your button.
When a member of the Team of 8 disrupts the cadence of collaboration, there are five key strategies to consider. First, embrace silence over conflict—choosing your battles wisely ensures your energy is conserved for what truly matters: student outcomes. Secondly, recognize that personality clashes distract from your shared mission of improving community and student life. Recalibrate your focus on these common goals. Third, understand that you cannot change someone else's beliefs; they must be willing to embrace new perspectives themselves. Instead, create an environment that fosters a thirst for understanding. Fourth, let data drive your decisions. Passionate opinions pale in comparison to the power of concrete data in guiding actions and improving student outcomes. Lastly, acknowledge the human frailties we all possess. Focus on self-improvement and forgiveness, which will help you maintain your equilibrium and positively impact your relationships and broader life. By adopting these strategies, you can maintain effective collaboration and keep the focus on what truly matters – student outcomes.